Psychologists will tell you that starting a new job is a highly stressful event, even if it’s something you wanted. Change can be like that. So it’s not hard to imagine how stressful it is if you just lost your job. We tend to define ourselves in terms of our jobs, which is sometimes a good thing and sometimes not. That means that if you are laid off or fired, it’s pretty hard not to take it personally.
Feelings of betrayal, injustice, anger, and humiliation will rise to the surface. This is natural. The process of getting through a job loss is not unlike the grieving process one goes through as part of losing a loved one or similarly traumatic event. One goes through a series of emotional states ranging from anger to depression to panic. The idea is to find a healthy emotional outlet through which to work through these feelings. Venting is fine, but do it someplace private, i.e., not a social network site. Starting a journal might be a good idea.
Understand that there are non-financial benefits to work; social interactions, friends, the sense of belonging or achievement. These are now gone and you need to come to grips with that and move on. Getting involved in other social venues like clubs, community activities or any other place where people meet, especially if they are also places where they can network. A good resource is meetup.com where you can find local groups who share your interests.
You can do a lot to cushion the effect of a job loss by preparing in advance. This may seem kind of negative, but in today’s economy more people than ever face the possibility of losing their jobs even if that job seems secure now. Review your contact list from time to time and keep in touch with friends. Make a list of anyone and everyone who has worked with you, then extend it to friends and family who will want to help you. This by itself can be a helpful exercise. And speaking of exercise, physical activity is an excellent way to diffuse stress. It will improve your overall physical and mental health, and chances are you’ll need both in the job search to come.
Ideally, you’ll want to be past those negative feelings before you strike out for your next job interview, but in reality sometimes you’re just going to have to “play hurt.” That’s okay. If you have to, fake it. Don’t let your negative feelings of betrayal and loss keep you from going to an interview or networking. One of the best ways to get past the loss of a job is to find another one. Easier said than done in this economy, but still true.
If you find your are consistently sad or angry, or if you just can’t find the wherewithal to get out there and look for a job, some counseling might be in order. Talk to your doctor to find out if you need counseling or treatment for clinical depression. If you need it, get it. Even mild depression can be a huge obstacle to getting your life back on track.
